Changing Hearts
by I am no angel 0217
Summary: What happens when an agent begins to fall for her handler? S/V *R/R*
1. Chapter One

Changing Heart  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from the show. I wish I did 'cause then I'd be rich, but I don't.  
  
Author: Janet  
  
Chapter One  
  
"Joey's Pizza?"a familiar voice said on the phone.  
  
"Wrong number,"I quietly replied as I hung up the phone. I quickly grabbed my coat and keys, and that's when Francie, eyeing my funnily, jumped in front of me.  
  
"You have a boyfriend, Syd?"Francie asked with a sly smile as she continued looking me up and down.  
  
"No,"I replied as I began to wonder why she was looking at me so strangely and acting even more unusual. "I just need to go out for a while, and clear my head."  
  
"You sure there's no man involved?"  
  
"I'm sure, why?"  
  
"Well, it's just late,"she said as she looked me up and down again.  
  
  
  
I got to the warehouse and buttoned up my coat. I felt very cold, which is an odd feeling in Los Angeles. I saw Vaughn standing in our usual spot. He was smiling, and as I got closer, his smile turned into laughing.  
  
"Did you get a new job, Syd?"he asked between laughs.  
  
"Huh?"I replied, totally confused.  
  
"Well, you're forgetting something,"he remarked still laughing some. I was clueless as I looked down at myself. That's when I realized that I was only wearing my coat, bra, a pair of pajama shorts, and some high heels. I was more than a bit embarrassed as I discovered my blunder.  
  
"I guess that's what Francie was talking about,"I muttered.  
  
"Huh?" Now he was the confused one.  
  
"Francie thought I must have a boyfriend and I thought it was weird of her to ask. I told her that I didn't because I really don't. Unless I call you my boyfriend because you a boy and I consider you to be my friend. But that sounds so little kidlike."  
  
"Oh,"he said as he shifted between normal expressions and anxiety-ridden ones.  
  
"So, what's my countermission?"I changed the subjected as quickly as possible.  
  
"Go with Sloane's plan, but you'll make a switch in the parking lot with a man in a van. He'll give you a fake vaccine to bring to Sloane and he'll bring the CIA the real vaccine."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Syd, I want you to call me as soon as you get back."  
  
"It's a deal,"I said with a wink.  
  
I smiled at him again before I turned my back and walked to my car. His laugh stayed with me as I drove home, and as I fell asleep. I even dreamt about his laugh. For some reason, it made me feel like everything was all good again. Like nothing bad had ever happened. Why was he making me feel so good, when I didn't want to? Oh well, I'll forget about this feeling eventually. 


	2. Chapter Two

A/N: Okay, normally, reviews are uplifting, but several of the Chapter 1 notes were not. In fact, they made my normally super self-conscious mind go into overdrive, which is really not something I need. First, I want to state that this is fiction...it isn't supposed to be real. I mean, this is fiction on fiction, which distances itself even further from 'reality'. Second, I know several very intelligent and together people who have made (or could make) that mistake of going out barely dressed because they were tired. Sometimes people do things without thinking...and sometimes, you do things because your subconscience urges you on. (Maybe Syd liked Vaughn enough that she wanted him to see her without much on?) If you pay close attention, you can see what the plot is. It isn't plot-less. If it had been only one chapter-long, then sure it would've sucked and had nothing, but it is going to be longer than one. As for spelling, I can spell really well...THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I checked the spell check on the last chapter and the only things that came up wrong were: when Syd said 'kidlike' (it's slang so it won't necessarily show up) and certain ways I used punctuations and spacing. I like getting reviews, but when the reviews are as rude as some of the ones I received were...I seriously consider deleting my account and never writing a story on here again.  
  
Chapter Two  
  
I came back from Venice and I was still thinking about the night at the warehouse. I couldn't believe that I'd forgotten to wear clothes. My brain sometimes doesn't work and apparently, the other night just proved that point very quickly. I should've been more interpretive when Francie was acting like an idiot, but I didn't. I kept trying to shrug it all off as just some stupid little mistake, but I couldn't. Something about Vaughn seeing me half naked just gave me really weird and uncomfortable feelings. I felt like by going to that warehouse unclothed that I had turned what respect he might have for me into some form of lifelong humiliating torment towards me. No, Vaughn isn't like that, I kept reminding myself, but I just couldn't stay calm about this, and I didn't know why.  
  
As soon as I got home, I called Vaughn and he told me to meet him at the warehouse. I was quite nervous about going back to that place, but I didn't know anywhere else to tell him to meet me. Every five seconds before I left, I would run to the mirror and make sure that I had on clothes still and that my hair was completely brushed. I was never going to be half-naked in a warehouse again without knowing all about it.  
  
Before I walked into the warehouse, I checked once more to make sure I had clothing on. I couldn't believe how self-conscious I had become. I'd never been like this before. As I approached, I noticed that Vaughn was checking to make sure I was wearing clothes.  
  
"Yes, I actually have clothes at home!"I said so that I could avoid any awkward silence. He laughed.  
  
"That's good,"he remarked with a smug grin. "How'd the trip go?"  
  
"Well, it went well. You know, the flight sucked because of turbulence. The party was wonderful. The getting and swapping of the vaccines was not so wonderful."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Well, Massimo's security guards and I had a huge fight, which ended up in this..."  
  
I held up my right hand, which was poorly wrapped.  
  
"What the Hell happened?"he asked as he took my hand and unwrapped it.  
  
"One of the security guards decided to slam his foot into it,"I winced as he touched my hand. I wanted to pull my hand out of his, but I knew he was just checking to make sure I was okay. "It hurts when you do that,"I whimpered.  
  
"Well, maybe you should get it checked."  
  
"I am not going to an SD-6 doctor or hospital to get it checked."  
  
"Syd, it can get really damaged if you don't take care of it now."  
  
"Then, let it."  
  
"Sydney, get it checked,"he said in a stern, yet caring voice. He looked down, and then raised his head until his eyes looked right back at me. "Do it for me, okay?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
Vaughn re-wrapped my hand as I finished telling him about the mission.  
  
"Does Sloane doubt that he has the real vaccine?"he asked me when I was done.  
  
"I don't know,"I replied. "Dixon was supposed to take it to him. I doubt that Sloane will even notice it."  
  
"Okay,"he said assuredly. He looked a little worried. "Syd, I need to talk to you..."  
  
"Alright,"I said. "What about?"  
  
"Weiss will be temporarily taking over your case."  
  
"Why? Did I screw up? Was it about the other night? Did that make you uncomfortable or something?" I was starting to panic, which was very unlike me.  
  
"Syd, it's not your fault at all. You didn't screw up and I wasn't uncomfortable,"he told me with one of those looks that a handler should probably never give an agent. "It's something personal--my mother. She was in a really bad car accident while you were out of the country. She's on life support. I'm going to take off for two weeks, and I have to make a decision about whether to keep her on it or not."  
  
"Oh my God, Vaughn,"I said instinctively hugging him, though I really knew that I shouldn't be doing that. "Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"No,"he half-grinned. "Just be kind to Weiss. He can be a jerk, but I told him if he screwed with you too much, you'd kick his ass."  
  
I laughed. "That's the truth."  
  
I began to pull away, but Vaughn looked like he was going to say something. "Sydney, I got you something after our last meeting. I thought you might like it."  
  
Vaughn handed me a little bag with flower print that looked like something a girl would pick out. I reached inside and pulled out a handheld antique mirror. It was absolutely beautiful, and I was so touched that he got it for me.  
  
"Thank you so much,"I said in total awe.  
  
"It's no problem, Syd,"he said quietly. "Be careful while I'm gone."  
  
"I will."  
  
"Don't kick Weiss's ass too much."  
  
"Alright. I won't."  
  
I began to walk away. Then, I totally stopped in my tracks, turned around, and waited until I thought I might be able to get out what my heart needed to say.  
  
"Vaughn?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers."  
  
"Thanks, Sydney."  
  
"It's not a problem. I don't want you to have to go through this. You're too nice to be forced through this."  
  
He did another half-grin, and I smiled back. I couldn't say much to him without getting overly mushy. 


	3. Chapter Three

A/N: Okay, I'm sorry if I was rude in the last one of these or seemed like a whiny brat. It's just after I read some of the reviews after the first (and some from the second) chapter, I really did feel like I should stop writing. I think some people thought my whining was a way of saying that I don't want people to critique my writing in any way, shape, or form. That's not the case. I don't care if you don't like my writing. I don't care if you tell me how to make it better. (I like it better if you do tell me how to make it better.) I just don't like it when people are rude about it or claim things that are untrue. *sigh* I'm a drama queen, aren't I?! LOL. I hope you enjoy this one...read and review NICELY!  
  
Chapter Three  
  
I couldn't help but feel like there was something that Vaughn wasn't telling me. Maybe my intuition was wrong and I was just obsessing over nothing, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was really off about this situation. I knew that I could call my father or even Weiss, but I really didn't want to right that moment. I just wanted to be at home.  
When I pulled into my driveway, I noticed that Will's car was parked in front of the house. I didn't know if I could handle both Francie and Will. If they noticed that I was even the slightest bit detached from their reality, they would sit me down and try to force me to tell them what was wrong. They didn't know that part of the problem was that I couldn't tell them anything. They didn't realize that the problem was that I was being forced to lie to my best friends because I knew that if I didn't, they would be killed like Danny, and I couldn't go through that again. I always faced this stress, but I tried to face it every time, like I tried this time.  
"Hey, Syd!"Will yelled from the couch, where he was watching some movie on the television. I urged my mind to forget my stress and detachment as I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulders.  
"Hi,"I said sadly as my emotions nearly poured out. He looked at me and grimaced at my sad expression.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I'm just tired,"I sighed and knew he believed me.  
"I understand that,"he said as he turned his attention towards the television.  
"Ah, the naked girl has on clothes!"Francie exclaimed as she came into the room with ice cream sundaes on a tray.  
"Yes,"I stated matter-of-factly as I grabbed a sundae. "Believe it or not, I actually still own a few outfits."  
"Thank God for small miracles,"Francie murmured and playfully pushed my shoulder.  
"Oh, shut up,"I said returning the playful push as I ate a bite of ice cream. "I've been meaning to ask you something."  
"Yesh?"Francie asked as she quickly inhaled some of the sundae.  
I giggled. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
"I thought that you'd look before you left."  
I nodded, but Will leaned over and whispered, "She thought it would be funny if you were arrested for being a hooker."  
I stifled a laugh as Francie reached over my head and slapped Will on his head.  
"Hey!"he yelled as Francie and I began to crack up. He grabbed a throw pillow and hit both Francie and me over the heads.  
I was a bit stunned as Francie grunted, "This is war!" She put her sundae down and grabbed another pillow, which hit Will and me.  
"Why do I keep getting hit?"I asked through bursts of giggles.  
  
Our pillow fight continued for a half an hour before we realized that we were laughing way too much and were gasping for air. We also had realized that our sundaes had melted, but in a way, we didn't care. I was given thirty minutes of happiness with my friends, and then, it ended as abruptly as it had begun.  
Now, I sat in my room, on my bed, and just stared at the phone. Though I had the power to leave the house or call someone, I felt as though I was in a dungeon. Maybe it wasn't my body that was in the dungeon. Maybe it was my mind, but my only lifeline from the dungeon wasn't going to be there for me. I didn't know what I was going to do. Why did this have to happen? Vaughn was the only person I felt safe telling so many things to. He was like my living diary. I could share every pain and every promise with him, and know I was safe. Now, he wasn't there, and I didn't know what to do. If I could've actually convinced myself that his mother was dying, I probably would've been okay. I knew she wasn't though. He was hiding something from me, and I needed to know what.  
I glanced at my alarm clock. One o'clock. Vaughn might not be there anyway. I glanced at the phone.  
Weiss is my handler now, I have to call him if I'm going to call anyone. I sighed as I dialed Weiss' number. I knew when he answered that he'd been asleep.  
  
Weiss: "Hello?"  
Sydney: "Weiss?"  
Weiss (yawning): "Yes, who is this?"  
Sydney: "This is Sydney. I need to talk to you."  
Weiss (more alert): "Okay, where?"  
Sydney: "The...um...warehouse. It's at..."  
Weiss: "I know where it's at, I've been there before. When?"  
Sydney: "Oh, okay...how about a half hour?"  
Weiss: "Okay, see ya."  
  
I got up out of my bed and threw on some real clothes and brushed my hair back into a ponytail. I snuck out of my house without disturbing Francie, which had become an incredible achievement in and of itself. As I drove, I kept thinking about Vaughn. I got to the warehouse and I felt like my heart had broken into two pieces when I didn't see his car. This was really happening. I began to cry as I waited for Weiss inside and I couldn't even seem to stop as I heard him approaching me.  
"Sydney, are you okay?"Weiss asked as he walked up closer to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.  
"Do I look okay?"I asked through the tears, which were getting worse.  
"Not really,"he gritted, as though he had no idea what to do. I knew exactly what to do. I knew who I could call and who could make me feel like nothing was wrong. I also knew that I wasn't supposed to call him right now.  
I slightly laughed as Weiss walked away from me for a minute.  
"What's wrong?"he asked, trying to warm up to me. I knew this must be difficult for him, too. I'm sure he'd have been much happier if someone else had gotten to be my handler while Vaughn wasn't available, but he knew that he was stuck with me.  
"I need to know why Vaughn was so awkward this afternoon about his mother."  
"What?"Weiss asked me as though I'd lost my mind.  
"He said that she was going to die soon from a car accident,"I told him softly. Weiss bobbed his head like he was nodding. He turned away for a moment so I couldn't see his facial expressions.  
"No, she isn't,"he finally said as he began to liven up with laughter. My eyes suddenly widened.  
"She isn't?"I questioned. I was shocked. I looked at Weiss with disbelief as he shook his head no. "Then, why isn't he my handler for the next few weeks?"  
"She's fine, Syd,"Weiss reassured me. "He's not your handler because--"  
Weiss's voice trailed off, and my heart began to race. "What? Tell me,"I pleaded nicely at first. Then, as he refused, I got really tired of being nice. I kicked an empty cardboard box aside and I marched over to Weiss. I grabbed him by the neck and shoved him against a wall. "Tell me!"  
"I can't, Sydney. Classified best friend stuff."  
"Tell me,"I grunted again as I tightened my hold on his neck.  
"Fine,"he whimpered and I loosened my grip. "It was forced leave."  
"Forced?"I mumbled. 


	4. Chapter Four

A/N: I want to thank everyone for the kind and encouraging reviews. I really and truly appreciate them. So, I want to thank you. Someone (Jenna, I believe) said that she didn't want to publish her stories on ffn because of rude reviewers...hun, you shouldn't worry about it. For every rude review that you could possibly get, you'll get a million more that are nice and encouraging. Believe me, I know this.  
  
A/N 2: This chapter may be short. I wrote it last night, but I didn't write as much as I normally do.  
  
Chapter Four  
  
"Yes, Sydney,"Weiss quipped as I loosened my hold on him. "Forced leave."  
  
"Why?"I asked quietly as I had just been totally confused by this statement.  
  
"Well, let's see...he's crazy about you for one. He always tries to ensure your safety even past what's required of him. He gets information for you that should remain secret. It all adds up to being too emotionally involved and risking both of your lives or the lives of totally innocent people."  
  
I sat down as I processed all of this information. Things would click for a second before an emotion or a shread of information would totally conflict it. My face started to feel as though it was on fire and tears came to my eyes as my mind began the process of having a nervous breakdown. Luckily, Weiss was more perceptive than I would've figured from him, and reached a hand out to my shoulder as if he wanted to bring me back to reality.  
  
"Are you okay, Syd?"Weiss asked.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You forgot to breathe."  
  
"Oh, okay,"I nodded hesitantly.  
  
"Sydney? Are you going to be alright?"  
  
"Weiss, can't I talk to him?"I pleaded.  
  
"No, it's too much of a risk,"Weiss replied firmly and I doubted he would break. I sighed.  
  
"Can you?"I whimpered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can you talk to him?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Well, can you get a message to him from me."  
  
"Maybe...well, I guess that would be okay."  
  
I began to feel very optimistic.  
  
"Why?"he asked as he was now on the receiving end of the anxiety.  
  
"I've got an idea,"I replied softly. 


	5. Chapter Five

A/N: Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews that you guys have been giving me lately. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I re-wrote it several times, so I hope it actually is good enough. It's better than a lot of the other versions I'd written. *Read/Review*  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
"What kind of idea?" Weiss asked suspiciously.  
  
"Well, I want to let him know..." I paused for a moment and looked at Weiss. I didn't really want to let Weiss know what I was going to tell Vaughn.  
  
"Let him know what?"  
  
"Weiss, you're too damn inquistive!" I said as I stalled for a moment trying to come up with a good reason.  
  
"What are you going to tell him, Sydney?" Weiss asked obviously becoming more annoyed by the second.  
  
"That really isn't any of your damn business," I said as I began to turn away. I was getting very uncomfortable with Weiss wanting to know so much.  
  
"Sydney, what you tell Vaughn could ruin his career or his life! It could kill him!"  
  
"Do you think that I don't know that already? Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think that I don't worry about my secret rendezvous with him? I spend all of my freakin' time worrying that I'm going to hurt him or my dad or Will or Francie or, Hell, even you! So don't you assume for one fucking second that I don't know the fucking risks!"  
  
With that, I began to storm away from Weiss and the cage before realizing that I hadn't set up a time to meet back up with Weiss.  
  
"Weiss, be here at midnight!" I said as I turned around for a second. Then, I just walked confidently to my car and drove back home.  
  
  
  
I woke up to "Crush" by Mandy Moore playing on my alarm clock radio the next morning. How perfect! I always thought the song was a bit silly, but now I realize that not only is it silly, but it's also appropriate for my particular situation. I sighed as I got out of my bed and turned off my alarm.  
  
I got ready as quickly as possible. I figured the sooner I got everything over with, the sooner I could be back home working on the stuff for Vaughn. I quickly decided on my new sleeveless navy wool crepe dress from J. Crew. I glanced in the mirror and felt that my look wasn't complete, so I threw on an off-white belted cardigan. I looked back at the mirror and I had to admit that I really felt cute in this outfit. It seemed different from my usual style, but not drastically different. It was just different enough for me to feel more confident and beautiful. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought so.  
  
"Syd, you look great!" Francie called as I grabbed my keys.  
  
"Thanks," I replied grinning widely.  
  
"You gonna eat something before you go?" she asked sipping her orange juice.  
  
"No, I really just need to get my butt to work," I said as I rushed out the door before she began to ask too many questions.  
  
  
  
"You seem to be in a good mood," Dixon said to me as he approached my desk.  
  
"I am," I said gleefully.  
  
"That's good," he said cheerfully as he stood next to me. "May I ask why?"  
  
"Yes, you may," I replied. "I woke up this morning and the sun was shining, so I put on a happy face. Actually, I just feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders."  
  
Then, I saw Sloane, and my happiness was sucked out by his evil grin. He gave me the chills, which really made me wish that I could finish my search for information to bring down SD-6, so I could bust Sloane's ass and maybe have a normal life.  
  
"Good morning, Sydney," he said with his devilish smile.  
  
"Good morning," I politely replied regretting my coming into work this morning. I could've slept in and worked on the stuff for Vaughn, but I chose to go to work and see this inherently evil man.  
  
I watched the evil gnome walk away from my desk, and I glanced up at Dixon.  
  
"Do you ever think he could be Satan's spawn?" I whispered.  
  
"Yeah, but I think even the Devil himself wouldn't admit to fathering him," he whispered back causing me to choke back laughter. What would I do without Dixon sometimes? I shudder at the thought. 


	6. Chapter Six

A/N: Okay, so here goes another wonderful little chappie. Haha! So, I hope you all enjoy this one! Thank you for all of the reviews! It's awesome that you all have given me such a response to this story!  
  
Chapter Six  
  
I got to the warehouse twenty minutes before Weiss, which only gave me excess time to obsess over the gift for Vaughn. As I sat on a rickety card table, I decided to give myself one last peek into that goodie bag. Everything was in there that I was intent on giving him – a CD I burned of songs that made me think of him, an 'identity' necklace with Sydney written in script on it, a little travel guide for Rome, and a note which read:  
  
I know why you're not my handler for now. Weiss told me that much. Don't kill him for it, though. I know that his life was threatened when he did it. I needed to know where you were and that you were okay, after I found out that you had lied to me. Then, I needed to know why you had lied to me.  
  
I love you, and I think you should know that. You are my guardian angel for a reason. I trust you with my life, my soul, and my spirit. I just wish that the two of us could be together in public. Maybe I'm rushing by telling you these things, but what the Hell! Either you feel them or you don't. I really hope you do, though. Well, I'll talk to you again soon.  
  
S  
  
  
  
I was afraid of even signing the note with my first initial for fear of someone finding out it was from me to him. I knew the consequences of falling in love, but I knew that he had to know my true feelings even if I wasn't completely sure that they were indeed my true feelings.  
  
"Sorry that I'm late," Weiss mumbled as he came in five minutes late holding a latte cup.  
  
"No problem," I told him as I twirled the bag's handle between my fingers.  
  
"Is that for Mikey?" Weiss asked in a little kid voice.  
  
"Yes," I replied handing him the bag. He began to look in, which really infuriated me. "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Spying," he teased as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"Whatever!"  
  
"Sydney, do you want me to tell Vaughn anything?"  
  
"Um…tell him to come back soon, I guess."  
  
"I try to remember that."  
  
"Oh and…"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Could you let me know what happens?"  
  
"I'll try to."  
  
"You'd better."  
  
  
  
Weiss swore that he delivered the gift to Vaughn, but he refused to tell me what Vaughn thought about it. He tried to avoid the topic completely, and had I not continuously brought it back up, he would've been successful. After a week and a half, I still couldn't get anything out of Weiss, so I began to slowly breakdown. Everyone became suspicious of why I was acting so strangely, but my father was the first to be concerned enough to confront me.  
  
"Sydney, what's wrong with you?" he asked as we stood in an empty alley.  
  
"What?" I asked as I tried to hold back my real emotions.  
  
"You're hiding something!"  
  
"I hide a lot, Dad. I am a spy, you know?"  
  
"Yes, I realize that, but you look emotionally drained. I am seriously concerned about you!"  
  
I slowly began to sob as my father's words hit me. I tried to turn away from him, but he caught my arm and turned me back towards him quickly. I still tried to fight him, but it didn't work.  
  
"Please, tell me, Sydney…"  
  
"I can't—" I cried. "Please, just let me go."  
  
He relinquished part of his grip on me, but he was still too concerned to let go of my arm completely.  
  
"Let me help you out," he whispered into my ear as I was overwhelmed by my tears. "Please, Sydney."  
  
I pulled away for a moment before noticing that his look was completely sincere and that he really wanted to help. I hugged him tightly.  
  
"Sydney, whoever it is, I promise I will kill them myself!"  
  
I giggled for a second. "Please, don't."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"It's Vaughn…"  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"He's on forced leave, Dad, and I really need to talk to him."  
  
"Forced? Why? Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, Dad. Devlin said that he was acting inappropriately towards me because we'd become so close. He made him take three weeks of forced leave as a punishment."  
  
"Why do you need to talk to him so badly?"  
  
I paused and nervously smiled. "Daddy, I'm in love with him."  
  
Fear and anguish simultaneously shot through my father's eyes. I knew that he would never say it, but my situation was reminding him of my mother. He had loved her so dearly before finding out that she was completely fraudulent with him. Her compassion and love toward him were just what she was being paid to do. Her behaviors and lies had broken his heart, almost ruined his life, and, for a time, tarnished his career. He never would want anything like he'd been through to happen to me, but he knew he couldn't stop me from falling in love.  
  
"What do you need me to do?" he asked as he choked back his emotions. 


End file.
